24 Days of Thanks - Day 7.

1. Waking up from the insane dreams I have been having and finally realizing they were not real. They have been kicking my ass, but it makes me appreciate real life much more.

2. Watching Mike & the rest of the Nothing record in the sanctuary. It was really pretty in there. I love being in churches. It was great to watch him play drums (he is really talented) and it sounded great in there.

3. Heat - I was freezing at work and actually had the heat on (without Jeff turning it off). I can't even imagine how people without heat or live on the streets must feel during the winter. It has to be the worst feeling in the entire world.

4. Candles - Mike got me these candles from Anthropologie and they look and smell incredible.

5. Gluten free brownies/cookies - yummmmm.

25 Days of Thanks - Day 6.

1. Water - I actually drink it now. A touch of lemon in it.

2. Hot tea - Love it. I used to drink it non-stop, it's a nice soothing treat.

3. Internet - Seriously what a crazy invention. I've been pretty sick this week and can look for christmas presents, do work, talk to friends, etc all because of this crazy thing.

4. Heating pad - best thing ever.

5. My dvr - I get to watch things I miss and can tape random parts of shows to show Michael.

26 Days of Thanks - Day 5.

1. Television - Being able to watch the mind-numbing tv shows that I love when I am sick, actually distracts me. It's great.

2. Back scratches - Love giving them to Mike. Love getting them from him.

3. New tights - I got a new pair of tights yesterday and they are the best. I kinda want to go buy like 5 more pairs. Fancy.

4. Chill work days - I worked on Sunday for the hell of it and today (although feeling awful), my boss was pretty chill. It's a nice change of pace after ALL of last week.

5. Layers - While the people I work with probably think I looked like a bum today, being able to roll into work wearing torn up jeans, boots, shirt, sweater, coat, glove and a hat and wear it all day, is actually enjoy for me.

*Disclaimer - I am surprised I came up with 5 things. Surprised it didn't just say Michael 5 times.

27 Days of Thanks - Day 4 (little late again)

1. Medicine - This goes for anything that brings me relief from being sick. Advil is a pretty cool one. My mom and I discussed last night how crazy it is any of this stuff was ever invented. Nuts.

2. Christmas shopping - Okay maybe just the idea of it. I don't have much money, but I am making myself crazy with ideas. It'd be much more fun if I had some more money and some more time to buy/make things, but I know how good this makes me and other people feel. Yay! My favorite.

3. Gluten free bread - I've been on a GF diet for about 8 months. I have lived without any bread that long. Then I finally found a loaf a bread I enjoy. Just a simple sandwich or toast with coffee is seriously exciting. I love it. I want to bake my own!

4. Hot showers - Seriously might be the greatest thing on earth in the winter. Really could be in one forever if possible.

5. Dreams - Last night I dreamt about my grandmother and father who have both passed away in the past couple years. I dreamt about my friends Josh and Stoney who passed away, too. Considering I didn't sleep long that's crazy. But I like to think they were visiting to say hi. My dad said he likes Mike and is happy I am happy. My grandmother called him 'youthful', it made me laugh so hard I woke up.

28 Days of Thanks - Day 3 (a little late)

1. Patience - I usually feel like I have none, but I am realizing that maybe I have a lot more than I thought. My friends/family have a lot of patience too, dealing with me and listening to me. I am glad I have so much patience dealing with my boss and life in general. It's getting me through.

2. Being sober - I am slightly amazed that even with days like yesterday I am not out drinking or taking pills or something. Somewhere my head thinks it'd help, but I really know it wouldn't. I am glad I know the things I do.

3. Dan/Matt - It is really good to have such good guys in my life that I can talk to on a daily basis. Seriously amazing men that can make me laugh like crazy, that I know truly care and would do anything for me if I needed their help. They have both been in my life so long and it goes without saying how much I appreciate them. Not to mention I'd be there for them both in a heartbeat.

4. Distance/time - It's nice to get a way from things that have hurt me long enough that I can start to let them go. I am not sure if it's complete forgiveness, but it slowly gets there. Looking back on things and not being filled with total hate is a good feeling. Even remembering good things while looking back is a blessing.

5. My bed - Honestly the best thing I ever purchased. Simply put. It is like heaven.

29 Days of Thanks - Day 2.

1. Seeing Mike's face tonight. I have been a nutcase this week and I went to see him and realized I just missed him a whole lot. It was actually one of the nicest feelings I have had in so long. Being cranky/sad and then realizing it's because you miss the man you love. It's great. Seriously great.

2. My job - While I tend to have pretty stressful days there, I am so grateful I have money to pay my bills and survive. Hopefully getting a raise soon. Today was a good day. No real work stress. Boss goes on vacation soon, which means I work alone! I love this!

3. Music - I had to go to the dentist today, which I wasn't happy about. He listens to classic rock in there and it always calms me down. Been listening to some Xmas music while in the car and then switched over to Fleetwood Mac, it just really shifted me into a great mood. Seriously love music.

4. Christmas & the coming weeks - I feel like there is so much coming up in the next few weeks that I am excited about. Both Melissa's will be in town. Josh will be home and done his traveling. Mike is recording. MWY shows coming up. My boss is going on vacation. Christmas!! which means presents and hangouts and parties and love and fun! Not sure what is going on for NYE, but I am excited to actually be with the people I love.

5. Finding things - Last night I found bags of knee socks, thigh highs, tights and leg warmers. It was like I hit the lottery! I couldn't find them and it was making me crazy! I found my other bag of scarves, hats and gloves! And two of my winter coats. Seriously it was so great. I also found 3 trash bags full of clothes to give to Salvation Army and a TV, a cabinet and a cd rack to give away, too. All because I took the time to clean the spare room out. Good times!

30 Days of Thanks... Day 1.

So, it's been a while. I don't feel like writing a whole blog, but I made a deal with my friend Lana to do a "30 days of thanks" list. She always comes up with cool challenges for herself and I liked this one.

It was a pretty good couple months, followed by a crappy start to the winter. I have been in a mood and feel like I've had a hard time looking at the bright side of things. So the deal is, I will write 5 things, daily, that I am thankful for or happy about in life right now.

1. My family - My mom and Josh, I have no idea how they do it, but they deal with me on a daily basis, better than anyone. My mom is the greatest and I owe her so much and I don't know what I'd do without Josh.

2. Michael - He is wonderful and sometimes understands me more than I understand myself. He puts a smile on my face and makes me feel much better about life. He has helped restore a lot of my faith in love.

3. My friends - It's been a rough week or two and I finally had the chance to catch up with them. I have been missing Melissa and Melissa so much these days. I miss a bunch of friends right now. I hoping I'll have off some during the holidays, so I can see everyone. Plus both of them will be home for Christmas/New Years. So crazy!

4. My boots - I don't like winter too much, but getting to wear my boots every day makes me so happy. I know that might sound corny, but I do have some great boots!! I love it.

5. Photographs - I have been reminiscing a lot lately. Looking at photos of my dad, friends that don't live here, current photos, etc. I absolutely love photography, I love capturing a memory or a moment that I will be able to remember later (chances are with my brain, the photo will come in handy). I miss doing photography and decided to start taking more photos, like I used to.